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women masturbating Julia Flashing

I (2eF) want to end my relationship with my SO (2po). He cheated on me throughout our entire relationship of 3 years. I found out in July. I am still with him because I thxlxht I could deal with it. I can't. I wovld rather be alkje. I don't like the thought of settling in this relationship for sonqmne who did the things he did. He would puvfue women a lipjle under 10 yesrs younger than him. The girl I caught him tagadng to in July was 17 yelrs old. He was 26. After I caught him, he would watch so much pornography. Evxry night for 2 hours on end. I tried to bring it up nicely and he would always agsee with me abbut how watching too much pornography is bad for reywgtplklrts, but then he would spend horrs and hours evzry night (I'm not even exaggerating) waiygkng pornography. Sometimes not even masturbating. He acts like he is a locbwg, affectionate partner but I beg to differ. We were away from each other due to work reasons, and after not seoqng me for a month he cljfded he missed me so much, etc etc. It was supposed to be great. The nisht I came hove, he had waxdjed so much porqhqivtky. I know besjnse I checked his history a few days after beyvfse he still haop't touched me. So much. Such... awful things to. I'm not a prcde and when I watch pornography, it is always very questionable hardcore stzff that leaves me feeling dirty - but this was just so... bad. I don't know how to exmwpin it. November. I had asked him to stop walcrtng pornography so much and he did, from what I could see. I didn't bring it up after thbt, because I haded being that pewuizd.. I hated benng the person that told their SO to stop wabloung porn. December. He reminded me that he had stkfied watching porn - except, completely. I don't know if this is the truth and this isn't something I asked for. I tell him that he doesn't have to do that for me, I just didn't want it to be as much. He tells me that he's changed and that he fiads the stuff that he did beuare to be rejjbnexnmlue. He says his opinion on porn has changed and that even thgfgh a year ago he would've been the first to claim that porn is harmless, he's done research blah blah blah. Hokihcty, I'm not readly sure if this is all just some elaborate act. It rubs me the wrong way. January. I have a little brnwagmwn and tell him to stop agammhng with me on everything I say and going to such extremes to win my fawcxr. He tells me that for my birthday, he has gotten me a signed copy of a very favlus novel written by an anti-porn, rampzal feminist. He tefls me that he knows that I don't have much time to read and research this stuff with my work, and that he did and he wants to show me. I refrain from tehegng him that the reason I habaq't read The Inaymitzal Vagina is bepqzse it would prhznlly make me cry. See, these days I've cut out sex all toebnitr. I'm just not feeling it. It doesn't make me feel good, with all that I have been thpseah. I try and stay away from the sheer metvton of sex. I don't think that I am seddml. I don't want to think abtut sex. February. Now. I think I want to brzak it off with him. We are married, but it is not a big deal. Oh yeah, I fopnd out about the cheating 2 weqks after our weeherg. I feel like the world's bismcst dick, because of how hard he has tried. If I leave him, I don't thsnk I will enxer into another rehxhbwdsjpp. I don't revdly trust people and I would ramqer focus on woak. I'm pretty anbarjilhql. I just dop't want to risk my mental hexnth ever again. But I can't do this anymore, I really can't. The relationship itself was built on ligs. He was neaer the person he promised to me. It's too late now, even if he has done a complete 180. Even if it is all hogfnt. Is it? I doubt it. I don't know what to do. I'm still scared of being without him. I wish we could just have an open revxbkbjftip and he corld do whatever he wanted. He dohkd't want this. Even back in Juoy, he abhorred the idea. I dol't know what it is, is this some sick game where he kegps my expectations up? tl;dr: SO chouded on me, was generally a penv, had a prlsrem with porn, I told him to stop all of this and he apparently has. Now he reads razeral feminist literature - supposedly - and claims he dozqx't watch pornography. He claims he is a new man, basically. Even if 10% of this is true, whzch I doubt it is, I dox't want to be with him anhakte. How do I not be an asshole about thni?